Football Trading With a Nice Cold Beer

This article is written by Ian Taylor who is a full-time writer and hobbyist football trader. His views are his own.

Warning: This Content Is Only Suitable To Those With A Sense Of Humour

Beer and football trading! — two things that pair as naturally as late goals and VAR controversies.

Before we begin, I want to go on record to say I am not suggesting anyone dare drink any form of alcohol when trading.

But if, god forbid, we were to dare to do this (even though we won’t) then when should a savvy football trader, who juggles odds and emotions like a pro, crack open a frothy one?

I have drunk a lot of beers and traded a lot of football at the same time so this article is written with experience.

And at this time of the year, we might all need advice on this one, so here is the ultimate guide:

1. The Pre-Match Analysis Beer

Optimal Beer Time: The moment you’ve convinced yourself you’ve found the perfect trade.

You’ve spent hours analyzing xG stats, scrolling through injury updates, and pretending you understand weather conditions in Bilbao.

Reward yourself with a pint, because this is definitely going to be the one trade that pays for the summer holiday to the Canary Islands.

2. The “I’m in the Green” Beer

Optimal Beer Time: As soon as the favorite scores and you’ve cashed out.

You’re up 0.8% on your stake, and it’s time to celebrate your genius.

Who cares if you spent three hours finding the trade and you lost 4 trades before it? Crack open a lager and toast to your profit.

3. The Halftime Beer

Optimal Beer Time: When the first half has gone completely sideways.

The underdog is somehow 2-0 up, your Correct Score strategy is in shambles, your in-play stats are screaming “AVOID”, and you somehow found bets you didn’t even know you had placed had turned into losers.

Everything that could go wrong has somehow gone wrong.

Nothing steadies the nerves like a beer. Besides, there’s still a whole second half to recover—or to double down (depending on how many beers you’ve had).

4. The VAR Beer

Optimal Beer Time: When VAR takes five minutes to disallow a goal that could have saved your trade.

Every football trader knows the gut-wrenching pain of seeing the market spike in your favor, only for VAR to drag it back into oblivion. You watch the replays of the goal and you judge there was nothing wrong with it only for the VAR review to kick in.

You might have even already cashed your trade out and you are congratulating yourself just to see it all reversed.

In these situations, Beer is your emotional hedge.

Sip deeply and mutter, “Football’s gone, mate,” like a true philosopher of the markets.

5. The “I Should’ve Stayed Out” Beer

Optimal Beer Time: When you ignored your rules and jumped into a terrible trade.

Backing Unders was never in your plan but you figured you could get away with for 10 minutes and nick some ticks.

You thought wrong, as not 1 but 2 goals go in while your stake is in the market.

The dull match is suddenly a thriller.

It happens.

But instead of beating yourself up, reach for a cold one.

Beer won’t fix your bankroll, but it will numb the pain until you can post your loss on a trading forum and call it “a learning experience.”

6. The “I’ll Just Watch” Beer

Optimal Beer Time: When you decide to sit out the match but still find yourself glued to the action.

No trading, just spectating.

Sure, it’s agonizing to watch a game unfold exactly as your strategy predicted, but you’re not bitter—well, except for your choice of beer.

7. The Late Goal Beer

Optimal Beer Time: When your late lay trade finally pays off.

There’s nothing like the adrenaline rush of laying a team at 80 minutes, then watching a last-gasp equaliser save the day and net you a substantial profit.

Beer tastes better when it’s seasoned with victory, doesn’t it?

These are the best beers.

8. The Multi-Match Madness Beer

Optimal Beer Time: When you’re managing five trades across multiple leagues at once.

You’re juggling Serie A, Bundesliga, and the Danish Superliga like a caffeinated octopus, and it’s starting to get tense.

Beer won’t help you focus, but it’ll make you feel like you’ve got everything under control.

And it will certainly allow you to have a laugh when you accidentally turn off the notifications on one of the matches and miss the chance to close a golden trade out for a profit.

9. The “Let’s Chase” Beer

Optimal Beer Time: When you’ve lost three trades in a row and think, “One more will turn this around.”

This is the beer of delusion, but every trader drinks it at some point.

If you’re going to chase, at least do it with a craft IPA in hand.

It won’t save your balance, but it’ll give you something to enjoy while you spiral.

10. The Portfolio Beer

Optimal Beer Time: When your trading portfolio has hit your target for the week.

You’ve played it cool, stuck to your systems, and ended the week in profit. This is the beer of the disciplined trader—a celebratory pint that tastes like success, validation, and a smug Twiiter post waiting to happen.

However, for some reason you often turn to something a bit more sophisticated on these occasions such as a Whisky or a glass of red.

Almost as if it feels more classy.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, the best time for a football trader to drink beer is whenever the market drives you to it.

Whether you’re winning, losing, or just watching chaos unfold, beer is the real MVP of football trading. Cheers, and may your trades always be profitable—well, profitable enough to cover your beer tab.

Disclaimer: For optimal trading performance, we recommend keeping beer out of the equation—blurry decisions lead to blurry profits. Celebrate your wins after the final whistle, not before!

Yours

The Responsible Football Trading Team